[Alchemist256]

Originally Posted by Yeroon

The Evolution of a Programmer. I mostly like the manager part

Code:

High School/Jr.High

        10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
        20 END

First year in College

         program Hello(input, output)
          begin
             writeln('Hello World')
          end.

Senior year in College

         (defun hello
          (print
           (cons 'Hello (list 'World))))

New professional

         #include 
        void main(void)
         {
          char *message[] = {"Hello ", "World"};
           int i;

           for(i = 0; i < 2; ++i)
             printf("%s", message[i]);
           printf("\n");
        }

Seasoned professional

        #include 
        #include 
         class string
        {
         private:
          int size;
           char *ptr;
         public:
           string() : size(0), ptr(new char('\0')) {}
           string(const string &s) : size(s.size)
          {
           ptr = new char[size + 1];
           strcpy(ptr, s.ptr);
           }
           ~string()
          {
           delete [] ptr;
           }
           friend ostream &operator <<(ostream &, const string &);
           string &operator=(const char *);
          };
         ostream &operator<<(ostream &stream, const string &s)
         {
           return(stream << s.ptr);
         }
         string &string::operator=(const char *chrs)
         {
          if (this != &chrs)
           {
            delete [] ptr;
          size = strlen(chrs);
          ptr = new char[size + 1];
             strcpy(ptr, chrs);
          }
           return(*this);
        }
         int main()
         {
           string str;
           str = "Hello World";
           cout << str << endl;
           return(0);
         }

Apprentice Hacker

 #!/usr/local/bin/perl
 $msg="Hello, world.\n";
 if ($#ARGV >= 0) {
   while(defined($arg=shift(@ARGV))) {
     $outfilename = $arg;
     open(FILE, ">" . $outfilename) || die "Can't write $arg: $!\n";
     print (FILE $msg);
     close(FILE) || die "Can't close $arg: $!\n";
   }
 } else {
   print ($msg);
 }
 1;

Experienced Hacker

 #include 
 #define S "Hello, World\n"
 main(){exit(printf(S)  strlen(S) ? 0 : 1);}

Seasoned Hacker

 % cc -o a.out ~/src/misc/hw/hw.c
 % a.out

Guru Hacker

 % cat
 Hello, world.
 ^D

New Manager

 10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
 20 END

Middle Manager

 mail -s "Hello, world." bob@b12
 Bob, could you please write me a program that prints "Hello, world."?
 I need it by tomorrow.
 ^D

Senior Manager

 % zmail jim
 I need a "Hello, world." program by this afternoon.

Chief Executive

 % letter
 letter: Command not found.
 % mail
 To: ^X ^F ^C
 % help mail
 help: Command not found.
 % damn!
 !: Event unrecognized
 % logout

Just AWESOME!

[ChaoticAura]

“I just saw my life flash before my eyes and all I could see was a close tag…”

[digioz]

Originally Posted by ChaoticAura

“I just saw my life flash before my eyes and all I could see was a close tag…”

Hahaha ... now that is a top notch Programming Joke!

Pete

[Julie Viola]

Sorry for that non programming joke...just get carried away with the joke

A programmer is walking along a beach and finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears. 'I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish, but only one wish.' The programmer pulls out a map, points to it and says, 'I'd want peace in the Middle East.' The genie responds, 'Gee, I don't know. Those people have been fighting for millenia. I can do just about anything, but this is likely beyond my limits.'

The programmer then says, 'Well, I am a programmer, and my programs have lots of users. Please make all my users satisfied with my software and let them ask for sensible changes.' At which point the genie responds, 'Um, let me see that map again.'

taken from http://presurfer.blogspot.com/2008/0...ing-jokes.html

[rookers]

Originally Posted by ChaoticAura

“I just saw my life flash before my eyes and all I could see was a close tag…”

This one made me smile

[cooljulie]

Originally Posted by Julie Viola

Sorry guys... I missed the theme of this thread coz i was laughing at it when i saw it. I am very sorry.. my apologies..

here's another one..
Programming is like sex:
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

Great one..

[Spider7]

Originally Posted by phpdoctor

Two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?”

The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu”

“Please excuse my friend,” the second string says, “He isn’t null-terminated.”

The strings have confused managers and java programmers alike

[Alexious]

haha, funny ones

[rebecca16]

here is a good one i found on net

No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:

1. They replicate quickly. ... Okay, Windows does that.

2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so. ... Okay, Windows does that.

3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk. ... Okay, Windows does that too.

4. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. ... Sigh.. Windows does that, too.

5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. ... Yup, Windows does that, too.

Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

So Windows is not a virus. ... It's a bug.

[Julie Viola]

So windows is a Virus! LOL! That's a Good One! The operating mus be too good


Julie Viola