[bitstuffing]

Originally Posted by maneetpuri

Here are another two

Q. How did the programmer die in the shower?
A. He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

************************************************** *************************************************

Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!

Keep laughing for your good health

Brilliant..
I laughed so much everyone around me wanted to see the joke, but they didn't get it
Confirmed I'M A GEEK

Here's one
Q. Why couldn't the guy leave his fat wife
A. He couldn't reach escape velocity.

[UberStreaming-Chris]

Originally Posted by newbe4ever

Male or Female? You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects
are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:


FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again.
They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.

TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.

SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGES:
Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.

EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying

I like this one. Everything makes sense!

[job0107]

From the Random Shack Data Processing Dictionary:
Endless Loop: n., see Loop, Endless.
Loop, Endless: n., see Endless Loop.

[Anna Shevchenko]

Maneet, woww that's a scary one )))

[Wolf1994]

Sergeant commands to the soldiers on a rock:
- stand in a column,
- first one, put your hand up, jump down!
- second, point your left hand to the left, right - up, jump down!
- third, repeat the position of a first, jump down!
...That process lasts for some time, then along passing by a lieutenant. He observs that for some time trying to realise what's going on and then shout to sergeant:
- you, gaming freak, we have a short limit of recruits and you playing the tetris with them!

[Scott1357]

Originally Posted by rebecca16

here is a good one i found on net

No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:

1. They replicate quickly. ... Okay, Windows does that.

2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so. ... Okay, Windows does that.

3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk. ... Okay, Windows does that too.

4. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. ... Sigh.. Windows does that, too.

5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. ... Yup, Windows does that, too.

Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

So Windows is not a virus. ... It's a bug.

Rebecca,
I really like the joke about Windows being a bug not a virus. My wife and I had a good laugh.

[liquidgraph]

lol those are really amazing jokes here.
All the jokes come around that programmers are nerds
Are they?

[JIMBOND27]

here is a good one i found on net

No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:

1. They replicate quickly. ... Okay, Windows does that.

2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so. ... Okay, Windows does that.

3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk. ... Okay, Windows does that too.

4. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. ... Sigh.. Windows does that, too.

5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. ... Yup, Windows does that, too.

Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

So Windows is not a virus. ... It's a bug.

lol so true

[UberStreaming-Chris]

Originally Posted by rebecca16

here is a good one i found on net

No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:

1. They replicate quickly. ... Okay, Windows does that.

2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so. ... Okay, Windows does that.

3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk. ... Okay, Windows does that too.

4. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. ... Sigh.. Windows does that, too.

5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. ... Yup, Windows does that, too.

Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

So Windows is not a virus. ... It's a bug.

LOL! This is great programming joke!!! The bottom line though windows tend to be the same with viruses, still, viruses are more powerful than windows.

[MontainJustin45]

the jokes are really funny