Originally Posted by Julie Viola
How many programers dose it take to change a light bulb?
None - It’s a hardare problem
I could swear I heard that somewhere before, if I could just put my finger on it....
How can you tell when a programmer has had sex?
When he’s washing the pepper spray out of his eyes.
very long pause….
A computer programmer is sitting under a tree when another programmer pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first programmer asks, “Where’d you get that?”
The programmer on the bike replies, “While I was walking outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, ‘You can have anything you want’.”
The first programmer responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”
A grade school teacher was asking his pupils what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first. What does your mother do all day?"
Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."
"That's wonderful. How about you, Amy?"
Amy shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."
"Thank you, Amy" said the teacher. "What does your parent do, Billy?"
Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy plays piano in a ŵhorehouse."
The teacher was aghast and went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation. Billy's dad said, "I'm actually a system programmer specializing in TCP/IP communication protocol on UNIX systems. How can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"